In Harry Potter, the lovable Hagrid says, “What’s coming will come, and we’ll meet it when it does.”

It’s always struck me how simple yet profound that statement really is…and how little my prayers reflect what I truly believe about the character of God.

So much has happened to all of us since 2020, and change changes us. We can’t help it. Every time we experience change, good or bad, stress hits. We become different people. I am no exception.

Change also brings fear, and I find myself praying “please don’t” prayers because the medieval me still believes in a God that has pagan qualities that are appeased by my works or wrathful of my lack thereof. I can’t help it. Weren’t we all taught this version of God in some way, shape or form, even if unintentionally?

This year, I’ve learned that in order to fully love some people, I will have to let them go.

There is no way to occupy a space with those who do not share my goal of loving all people with no strings attached, the way I believe God loves us. A free gift isn’t free if you have to work for it. Grace isn’t Grace if I’m doing something to effect it. And I simply refuse to believe in a God who says he “wills for all to be saved,” but can’t save all. That’s a God too small and too pagan for me. (I said what I said.)

If my humanity is saving me, I’m screwed. If God’s character is one that doesn’t allow me to know Him because He’s chosen for me to die and burn in eternal torment for His glory (yes- some people actually believe that I’ve learned), I’m just as screwed. Neither way makes a lick of sense, and the whole “God is God and we can’t question” gets less palatable the older I get and the more I experience.

And so, I find myself in the coming months, standing on the edge of change once again, ready to meet what’s coming, knowing that I have such little control over the outcome of events, understanding that my prayers might not be answered the way I want them to be, realizing that I’ll be okay if that’s the case because I worship a Creator bigger than me. And praise be to that!

What’s coming will come, and I’ll meet it when it does.

See you soon,

Toni